There's no place like home, but I'm bringing a new perspective with me.
Every year around this time, when Summer is over and everyone is going back to school, I always feel a strong closure of the transition into a new chapter. Here is my reflection on this one as it comes to an end: This time last year, I had just came home from my first road trip to my first music festival, saw two of my idols live and was introduced to one of them, and had just quit my day job. Since then, I have turned my passion for music into not just my 9-5 but my 24/7, had my best friend move in with me, released my first full length album, toured California, and now have taken a trip of a lifetime. Seeing famous monuments and getting the perfect picture for Instagram is always a good time, but the real treasure in traveling far away from home lies in the personal growth that I have gone through in just three quick weeks. It didn't happen when I visited the Eiffel Tower or was able to legally buy my own drink at a bar. It was being on the midnight bus through Italy and looking out the window while everyone else is asleep and realizing that I'm in freakin' Italy. It was meeting strangers at the hostel, or smiling at somebody on the underground subway and realizing that their whole life is this big complicated story with heartaches and achievements and fears and dreams and beautiful moments and it all has absolutely nothing to do with me, but is just as real as my life is. In a world this incomprehensibly massive, it's so easy to feel lonely, as odd as it is true. This trip has made me appreciate my little corner of the world so much more; how lucky am I to have people worth being homesick for. It was realizing that the behaviors and beliefs familiar to me are not nearly as stable as I had thought them to be. What is thought to be 'right' 'wrong' and 'normal' completely changes from place to place. So who is to say how anything in this life is 'supposed to be?' Who is to say where I cannot go? The more world I see, the more I understand how what we all think life is about is subject to our own perception. I've become aware that growing up in America instills the constant pressure of never feeling complete, and after seeing the way other cultures spend their time, I'm realizing that we don't always have to be working towards something or becoming the 'best at' or 'most' of anything. The American Dream success story mentality says "Stay at work late so next year your kids can enjoy nice things / oh you already have nice things? You need these nicer things now / sigh for today, have fun later / one day, one day, just wait until one day / and then your life will be spent just how you want." I'm not telling everybody to quit their job, forget all responsibilities and just wing it, but I do think that some of us get stuck in the mentality of living for tomorrow, when the ends will justify the means. We are all about convenience and doing everything in the quickest way so that we can get to the next step, and that's great when it's necessary. However, I am coming back home with the mindset of living everyday like "today is the day" I'm ready to live. I will no longer feel guilty if I spend the entire weekend doing nothing but reading or sitting around with family, because our time doesn't always need to be productive. It needs to be enjoyed, cherished, and made the most out of. Work hard to create the life you truly want, but first, make sure you know what you truly want (not what you have been told that you want) and then make sure to genuinely enjoy your journey. We get on a roller coaster not for the moment we get back to the loading zone, but for the ride itself.
It may have only been a few weeks, but I'm coming home from this adventure with more clarity, purpose, and energy than ever. With the conclusion of this chapter comes the newfound insight that anything and everything is truly possible, and as I start this next one, I will be living within the pages, taking in every word, in no rush to finish.
